Bet U wish U had me back
by KaelarKraze
Summary: Songfic. Spencer is on a mission to get back what she willingly walked away from, but the road home means traveling through her past. This was only going to be one song, but I've decided to keep going...All music by Halestorm.
1. Intro

**A/N Okay so obviously I have no rights to any concepts ideas or lyrics contained herein. **

**This is a songfic that was inspired by my recent trip to a Halestorm concert and getting to meet the very sexy, gorgeous, talented, amazing Lzzy Hale. All lyrics belong to her and Halestorm (check them out at to hear the song!). In my very small opinion if Ashley had become a rock sar, Lzzy is the closest thing to a real life version of how that could have turned out. Please R/R.**

Steady hands gripped the wheel as cobalt eyes scanned the road. She waited for the first chord to ripple through her stereo speakers, but the DJ was still speaking, prattling on about _The _Ashley Davies and her new single. The song they were about to play, the one that debuted in the top ten on the billboard charts and in three short weeks had gone number one. It was the fastest climbing song that she had to date and Spencer had it memorized, because she lived it.

The lyrics were not just words on a page they drew a picture, painted her very existence, with every sultry, breathy word, she was reliving lost moments in time. She pressed the accelerator harder, anticipating the first line, her subconscious carrying her faster towards her past.

Guitar intro, drums, and then…her heart stuttered, lungs faltered, time stood still between one breath and the next.

_It was you and me and one hot summer_

Achingly bitter sweet pause….it always got to her. When she heard it the very first time she felt frozen in place waiting with baited breath to hear the next line, she still waited and just like the first time…it tortured her soul.

_Beading up with __sweat__ all over each other soaking wet_

Spencer tried to breathe but she was lost in the memories.

_We didn't have a lot of time so we didn't waste much  
Finding all the right places you wanted me to touch  
And all those memories make it so hard to forget about me_

A ragged breathe forced much needed air into burning lungs, she squeezed her eyes shut an attempt to block the images flashing through her mind. Forcing them back open she checked the nearest mile marker and inched down further on the accelerator. The worst was yet to come.

_I bet you wish you had me back  
Another chance to get it just like that  
The best you ever had  
And do you close your eyes with her  
And pretend I'm doing you again  
Like only I can  
I bet you wish you had me back_

This time her heart didn't stutter, it nearly stopped; raw emotion squeezed it painfully trying to snuff the steady rhythm from her chest.

_It was you and me it seemed to last forever  
The way you taste I still remember the sounds we made_

Her heart thumped painfully back to life against her ribs, one second the imagery of the words nearly turned it to stone and in the next breath it felt as though it could erupt from her chest. Unruly blonde locks thumped back against the head rest, a repetitive action that Spencer used to try and draw attention from the phantom feelings that whispered across her skin.

_One day in June I stayed all night  
And made love to you like the Fourth of July  
And all those memories make it so hard to forget about me_

A hand flew to her face and swiped roughly at the errant tear that dared escape, she was done with tears. She was done with regret.

_I bet you wish you had me back  
Another chance to get it just like that  
The best you ever had  
And do you close your eyes with her  
And pretend I'm doing you again  
Like only I can  
I bet you wish you had me back_

Despite her better judgment she continued listening to the lyrical abuse. A public taunt delivered across the open airwaves.

_I bet you wish you had me back  
Every night  
Every time  
You see me when you close your eyes_

An involuntary shutter ran from head to heal despite the balmy heat whipping through her open window. She did see, she saw everything; every word elicited a thrill of excitement and in the next beat delivered a crushing blow.

_I bet you wish you had me back  
Another chance to get it just like that  
Like only I can_

Her voice rang out, powerful, strong, carving her point with extreme precision.

_I bet you wish you had me back  
I bet you wish you had me back _

And she was right. Spencer wanted Ashley back. Ashley was all she ever wanted, she had made a mistake two years ago when she walked away. She made another mistake when she allowed Ashley back in her bed last summer and did nothing to keep her there. But she was not about to strike out. Spencer was more of a 'third times a charm' kinda girl than a 'three strikes and you're out'. She just hoped that lady luck was on her side tonight.


	2. First Verse

**A/N As stated in Chapter One...I am so not cool enough to own these characters or lyrics.**

**Okay so I really didn't expect to write another chapter, but i've been wearing out my Halestorm CD at work this week and, well, this second chapter just sort of wrote itself and I think i've got a couple more songs that i'm going to weave in. So I guess I'll just let the greatness of Lzzy Hale and Ashley Davies lead me....hope you enjoy the journey. Please R/R.**

CHAPTER TWO

Spencer didn't make the concert, she didn't intend too. Waiting through a live performance would have been the ultimate in cruel and unusual punishment. No, she needed to speak to the rock star the first time she saw her, no time to think, just react, be natural, speak from the heart. Spencer knew that immediately following the show the band would sign autographs do a meet and greet and eventually head to their dressing rooms. But the crew would tear down and start dragging equipment out to the buses; she was counting on still having some connections with the guys doing the grunt work.

As she approached the high fence that blocked off the parking lot behind the arena a small almost imperceptible smile crept across her lips. It wasn't the kind of smile that spoke of happier times it was a wistful expression of times long ago….

………..Flashback….5 years prior….

"Spencer! Hurry up!"

Nineteen was too young to go to jail, what would her parents think, would she lose her scholarship? These thoughts ping ponged around in her mind as she stood frozen, both hands gripping the chain link fence, one foot poised ready to push her up that first bit of distance.

"Seriously Spencer, live a little, what's the worst that could happen?" The challenge was issued by her friend Carmen, the girl on the other side of the fence, the one who up until tonight she thought was a good influence.

"I can't do it." It was whispered low, tinged with regret and embarrassment.

"Fine, stay here, but I'm going, if I get in maybe I'll call you." With that Carmen was gone confidently making her way towards the back of the arena, closer to the large buses that marked the inevitable presence of up and coming rock stars.

………..End flashback….

Spencer shook her head and focused back on the present. With all her courage summoned she gripped the fence and started to climb. She was not going to repeat past mistakes, wasn't that the whole point of tonight, no tonight she was taking fate into her own hands. Several long uncoordinated moments later she dropped not so gracefully to her feet on the opposite side of the fence.

Staring at it now from this side, she almost wished she'd given this process a little more forethought, possibly made a phone call or two to arrange her entrance, as opposed to this James Bond method that just may get her arrested. She bit her lip and looked up at the fence, she'd have to be a complete idiot to climb back over now, might as well carry on with plan A.

Lower lip tucked between her teeth she turned to stare down the long dark parking lot and for a second she was lost once more. She remembered the sexy swagger of a rock princess emerging from the shadows and she forgot how to breathe again.

Five years ago today, a different town, another state, but a venue just like this she met _the _Ashley Davies for the first time. Unbeknownst to Spencer that night, Ashley had come looking for her.

The young blonde had been waiting outside the fence for almost two hours when her patience finally failed her and she began texting Carmen. At first the messages were separated by a respectable amount of time and contained a mixture of concern and frustration, but eventually her irritation surpassed her concern and she was firing off texts every minute. Amongst the last few were pictures she took of herself, first helpless, then sad, then angry, and most recently pissed.

But the messages never reached the intended recipient, the phone had been lost by its owner, only to be found by a curious brunette. Ashley had spent the last thirty minutes reading the messages and searching for the cute blonde who was sending them. She wanted to meet the girl who was too scared to climb the fence.

The school girl was completely star struck when she realized who was walking towards her across the parking lot. She had no idea what to say and let the rock princess do most of the talking, giving the appropriate head nod or simple one word answer as appropriate.

Ashley didn't engage in polite conversation for very long. She wasn't used to making conversation period, she was accustomed to obsessed fans throwing themselves at her, she didn't usually waste her time with anyone who wasn't interested in her own satisfaction.

Ashley's advances became more and more obvious and at first the blue eyed beauty shied away from them, averting her eyes and smiling at the ground. But when seconds ticked into minutes Spencer lost her fight with whatever was pulling her towards the rock star. She barely realized she was climbing the fence until she was over it, didn't register the lips against her own until her back hit the fence and dug painfully into her shoulders.

Spencer had wanted that kiss, led like a moth to a flame, dark flirtatious eyes and full smiling lips had beckoned to her. She had expected it to be hungry and forceful and the school girl was prepared to feel uncomfortable and uncertain, she was ready to push the petite brunette away if necessary. Spencer was not prepared to pull her closer, she was shocked by the first skittering sensation that swept across her skin and light headed from her racing heart. She did eventually pull away, but only to turn the tables, with a firm grip on a calloused guitar hand she pulled Ashley towards the buses.

The sexy rocker followed her but just before the blonde reached the bus door, Ashley pulled her to a stop. Searing brown eyes grabbed hold of cobalt blue, Spencer was given an option to walk away at that point. Ashley took a step back and pointed towards the arena door, her words said go after your friend but her body dared Spencer to follow when she climbed into the bus. Spencer couldn't look away; those rich mocha eyes held her captive, she followed the lion into her lair and risked everything.

Spencer wanted to worship her but didn't know how; she was all over the place. Kisses on her neck, shoulders, abs, and arms the school girl was completely erratic in her actions. None of it made any sense she was just doing something, anything, everything to express what she was feeling. Her actions tapped out against the rock stars skin like Morris Code, she just hoped her message of desire, want and need were being spelled out correctly.

Ashley let her explore until the blonde was completely frustrated and unsure of what action to take next. Then the rocker took control, she slowly peeled Spencer's clothing from flushed skin, agonizing Spencer with anticipation. She was unrelenting in her exploration of Spencer's body, using lips, teeth and finger tips she loved and caressed Spencer into submission. The school girl felt alive and complete and she couldn't help but think that this was it for her; these were the arms of the person she was meant to be with. She was beyond grateful that the rock goddess had been patient and gentle with her, she could see the self control written in Ashley's sculpted features. She had no hesitation and no regrets as she gave herself fully and completely to Ashley that night.

She basked in the warmth and safety of being wrapped up with the rock princess. Staring up into warm mocha eyes as her heart slowed and her body calmed Spencer did the unthinkable in the eyes of the rocker. Smiling eyes turned hard as coal and what was the most memorable night of Spencer's life, up to that point, quickly became the most painful experience of her life.

Spencer could hear the words in her head, both as they happened and set later to the music that made it a top ten hit. She blamed herself for being innocent to the ways of rock stars and groupies. If only she hadn't asked if she could have her number, her email, anything so she could see her again…

_You see it from the outside  
You're running toward the wall  
Swinging from your blind side  
But you don't know me at all_

Ashley disentangled herself from Spencer and rolled onto her side, her back facing the stunned blonde. The school girl wrapped the tangled sheets tighter around her, suddenly feeling very exposed and cold as the cruel chill of reality seeped into her bones.

_I've been here too many times before  
And your tears don't mean a thing  
I only come when you scream, I told you_

Blue eyes watched as Ashley got out of bed and started getting dressed. Spencer flinched when her own clothes were thrown at her.

_Child, don't follow me home  
You're just too perfect for my hands to hold  
If you choose to stay, you'll throw it all away  
And I just want to take your innocence_

Spencer felt sick as she dressed with shaking hands. How did she let this happen? She wanted to get out of there, get away from the seething woman who only moments ago had loved and embraced her with affection. But her feet wouldn't carry her out of that room, she collapsed under the anguish of everything she was feeling and let tears pour from broken eyes.

_Is this what you wanted?  
Did I make your dreams come true?  
You're sitting in a corner  
Wondering what you got into  
And you ache for things you don't understand  
That your tears don't mean a thing  
And I only come when you scream, and I told you_

Spencer shook her head, hands clamped over her ears, she couldn't hear it again, Ashley didn't need to say it again. The words struck home the first time, hearing it repeated wasn't necessary, it was just plain cruel.

_Child, don't follow me home  
You're just too perfect for my hands to hold  
If you choose to stay, you'll throw it all away  
And I just want to take your innocence_

Silence, a mere hesitation from the barrage of words that ripped and tore at her. Spencer's hands dropped from where she had gripped her head and wrapped tight around her midsection. The naive blonde literally felt as though she needed to hold herself together. She dared a glance up and received the final blow.

_There's no such thing as fate  
Only yourself to blame you never walked away_

Spencer shuddered at the memories and scrubbed her hands over her face. That was all in the past. The tables had turned six months later, against all odds her and the rock princess had found their way back together. Spencer gave Ashley a second chance and tonight she was after her own shot at redemption.


	3. Chorus

A/N Same 'ol, same 'ol….I own nothing, blah, blah,

This is pretty short, but for those of you who are still reading I hope you enjoy it. I drank a bottle of wine while cleaning my kitchen and jamming to Halestorm…this is the product of that totally ridiculous evening.

CHAPTER THREE

Breath ragged, heart pounding, slick with perspiration, Ashley's chest heaved as she tried to control her breathing. The rock star was completely exhausted and energized all at the same time as she stood in front of the roaring crowd. She gave them everything they wanted and still they shouted for more, she had already done three encore songs and played her fingers till near bleeding, she waited absorbing their applause until the lights went out for the final time.

Careful not to trip over cords or amplifiers she made her way across the stage nearly blinded from having faced the spotlights and then being submerged into total darkness. She new the route, had it memorized, everything had its place to allow the band and dancers to make seamless entrances and exits throughout the show, so when Ashley bumped into something she was completely surprised.

Fumbling blindly she righted the wobbling guitar stand, mumbling about newbie's and watching where they left their damn stuff. As her fingers felt around in the darkness for the guitar she bumped the strings and was surprised to hear the audio echo throughout the arena.

The commotion from the crowd hushed and you could feel the energy change. What was a sea of people slowly beginning to filter towards exits became a vacuum of sound as everyone held their breath waiting to see if the band would return.

Without conscious effort the rock stars feet carried her across the stage, settling the strap across her shoulder as she went. Years of skill found her automatically tuning the Fender guitar as she went. Lost in her world she didn't even realize the packed stadium had gone deathly quiet. Ashley stopped center stage and sat Indian style strumming the instrument; she let different riffs and chords flow from her fingers. A single spotlight was lit above her, washing her in a soft warm glow. She heard movement to her left and was surprised to find a microphone stand being set up, the mic adjusted just close enough to carry her voice but not be in her way.

Ashley smiled and spoke softly, "Hello Daytona." Thirty thousand out of control fans erupted into screams of excitement.

"Your Hot!" and "Marry me!" were decipherable through the overall madness.

The petite brunette chuckled throatily and responded playfully, "I'm flattered thank you." Her smile was wide and brilliant. This was a rare moment for the rock princess. She had started playing at local bars in High School, trying to follow in her dad's footsteps, but fame and the family name quickly took her from small bars and private shows to packed arenas with thousands of screaming fans. She had no regrets about her career but tonight she was feeling a little nostalgic and craved a more intimate setting.

"I said I would never sing this song live," Ashley cleared her throat and gathered her courage to continue, "but you all have been an amazing crowd and it's almost Christmas, so this is my gift to you, it was on my last album, some of you may know it." She played the intro and chuckled again when the crowd shouted their recognition, leaning into the mic her words were playful and teasing, "I guess that means some of you own the CD?"

The ruckus she was causing got louder as Ashley sat quietly watching the crowd, after a moment of absorbing the energy she began playing an extended intro letting the crowd try and come together singing the first line.

Artistic expression carried her fingers over the strings, letting her feel the music. She was lost in her own little world all the fans faded away and she was alone on the stage, remembering the day she wrote this song, remembering the pain and anguish that caused these words and these notes to come together.

She stopped playing and at first the mass of bodies didn't notice, their keyed up antics kept pulsing through the venue, but slowly as if they knew a decisive moment was coming, a palpable calm fell over the crowd.

_Drink the wine, my darling, you said_

It was almost a whisper, followed by another pause and more whispered words.

_Take your time, and consume all of it_

Ashley let her fingers begin to play, the soulful music sweeping over her. What could have created another frenzy instead created a peace and reverence that let the rock star express everything her soul was feeling.

_But the roses were only to drain my inspiration  
__The promises spoiled before they left your lips and…_

Lights flickered to life amongst the crowd, lighters and glow sticks raised and waved into the air. They were all there with her, sensitized to the power of her words. The brunette could feel the words pulling at her heart strings, her fingers halted and she let the building emotion gather letting thousands of strangers share in her pain.

_I breathe you in again just to feel you_

Her voice cracked slightly and she took a sharp breath to reign in the impending flood.

_Underneath my skin, holding on to  
__The sweet escape is always laced with a familiar taste of poison_

There was no base to melt in with her playing, no backup guitar to heighten the despair, just her blurred fingers racing along the Fender, peeling out a solo known only in the rock stars heart as she prepared for the second verse.

_I tell myself that you're no good for me_

Those words were ground from between clenched teeth and the ones that followed held bitterness and rejection.

_I wish you well, but desire never leaves  
__I could fight this till the end  
__But maybe I don't wanna win_

Tears burn at the back of her eyes, but she blinks them back and forges ahead. She lets the memories carry her forward through the lyrics and capitalizes on the emotion.

_I breathe you in again just to feel you  
__Underneath my skin, holding on to  
__The sweet escape is always laced with a familiar taste of poison_

The beat that drives her pain doesn't come, the drums that would normally play are silent and so it is just her, punishing the instrument in her hands as she builds the passion. Her voice crying out, faster and thick with unshed tears, just on the verge of letting everything go.

_I don't wanna be saved, I don't wanna be sober  
__I want you on my mind, in my dreams behind those eyes_

She drops her head, her once damp hair dry and stuck to her face and neck giving her that feral look that her fans love. She is lost so completely now the first tear breaking free.

_And I won't wake up, no not this time_

Her throat is starting to become raw but she plays and sings forcing the pain to come through.

_I breathe you in again just to feel you  
__Underneath my skin, holding on to  
__The sweet escape is always laced with a familiar taste of poison_

Her playing stops and the last words are spoken in a broken mumble.

_A familiar taste of poison_

Without another word, the exhausted singer un-slings her guitar and exits the stage. She doesn't hear the applause, she doesn't hear the screams, none of it matters. She poured out her soul and the only thing she can think of is the one person who needed to hear it, but didn't.

Ashley slammed through the door of her dressing room and grabbed the first bottle of alcohol that she found. She wondered if Spencer even bought her last CD, did she know the depth and extent of Ashley's pain. The angry rock star ripped the top off the bottle in her hands and slammed back half of the ice cold beverage while she berated her weakness. Why hadn't she released that song as a single, why was it so easy for her to put Spencer's pain on display, but refused to let the school girl see a chink in her armor.

With an animalistic fury, the bottle flew across the room shattering against the wall and the tiny brunette screamed and seethed in the small space, feeling trapped by her own mistakes and misgivings.


	4. Bridge

A/N Déjà vu….I don't own these characters or any likeness to these characters and I most certainly do not own these lyrics.

Wow, so this chapter got a lot longer than I thought and maybe I got a little carried away…hope your still enjoying the journey.

CHAPTER FOUR

Time seemed to slip by without notice. Ashley didn't go sign autographs and she refused to open her door to meet clamoring fans with back stage passes. She just sat and stared at her reflection, hating what she saw. It had been more than an hour and a couple beers since she left the stage and all she could think about was a certain blue eyed angel.

A soft knock sounded on the door and she barked for whoever it was to go away. The unwanted guest had the audacity to open the door anyway, but Ashley didn't turn to see who entered until they spoke.

"Hey Ash, I thought you could use a pick me up," the bitter brunette turned towards the voice. She saw Joey standing there grinning with his arms around three scantily glad girls, "So I picked up two blondes and a red head, who are eager to please."

One of the blonde's disentangled from the base player and sauntered over to where Ashley sat sprawled on the couch. The rock star didn't even blink when the girl straddled lithe hips and leaned in to kiss her. It didn't last long, Ashley didn't respond, but the blonde didn't notice or care as she lowered her head to nip and lick at Ashley's exposed collar bone.

Slowly blazing a trail up the rock stars neck the blonde whispered in Ashley's ear as she nibbled on it, "I could lick the sweat off your entire body." It was breathy and meant to entice, but the brunette just rolled her eyes.

Rolling her head away from the probing tongue and teeth, Ashley met Joey's gaze with a scowl. She took a sip from her beer as she indicated the girl in her lap and raised her eyebrows, giving the base player a look that said 'what were you thinking.'

Joey took the hint and called out, "Hey Roxanne, on second thought I'm not sure I want to share you tonight. Why don't you join us, I'm more of good time anyway."

Teeth suddenly sank into the rock stars neck and she spit beer across the couch as she cried out, "Fuck!" Before she could gain her senses the blonde she-devil was crawling off her lap with an evil glare.

"Something to remember me by…" With that the girl backed towards the others and they disappeared, the door clicking shut behind them.

Ashley wanted to smash something, but instead she stalked over to the vanity staring daggers at the mark that had already surfaced on her neck. As furious brown eyes surveyed the damage she caught the reflection of her cell phone in the mirror, seeing it raised a piteous moan from her throat. Ashley wanted nothing more than to dial an all too familiar number, call up the only person she wanted to see and convince her that everything was different now.

But she couldn't, she promised she wouldn't, it had been nearly six months since that night in June and the rock star wanted nothing more than to call the blonde everyday since.

Spencer had found her that night. There had been no talking, no confessions of love, just a smoldering fire that consumed them both. Ashley thought that was it, her life was back on track, but her blue eyed beauty wanted space, more time to think, told her it was a mistake, and disappeared from her life again.

The rock star had been faithful to the blonde in all ways since that night, waiting, letting the days and weeks eat away at her while she waited for her lover to return. Ashley leaned her forehead against the glass and let her mind wander to another time and place similar to this when she did give in and pick up the phone.

………Flashback…..over 4 years ago…………

Ashley was agitated, tapping out a staccato with her cell phone against the palm of her hand. Over the last six months she had written enough songs to complete her new album. The first song was out and she could smell the Grammy, her manager, producer, band mates, everyone was basking in the thrill of self proclaimed success. The rock star shared in that excitement, but something caused her to lay awake at night shuffling lyrics and rhythm's around in her head.

Still pacing she grumbled to herself about music being therapeutic and wishing the creative process would get a certain school girl out of her head. Ashley had given up trying to forget her encounter with the all American Midwestern blonde. She knew the girl went to Ohio University which was only 25 minutes from the arena where the band was playing that night. She also knew that Spencer was a double major, on the Dean's list, and was actively involved in the campus ministry group. She even served on the Freshmen Orientation Counsel. Ashley knew all of this because four months ago she had given up on trying to write Spencer out of her system and had taken to stalking the popular school girl online.

The edgy brunette jumped at the knock on her door, hollering out an explicative. A nervous red head stuck her head in the door and let the cranky rock princess know that sound check would start in ten minutes and then quickly disappeared.

Ashley made a rash decision, grabbing her phone, thumbs flew over the key pad as she fired off a text to her manager and demanded that a ticket and back stage pass be immediately delivered to the University Campus. She was going to put an end to this once and for all.

Ashley learned later that Spencer would always remember the time and place that she received those items. The school girl remembered opening the envelope and the line that developed across her forehead as she frowned. She didn't know what the brunette wanted or her intent, but Spencer wanted answers, so she went to the concert.

The blonde was nervous and she tried to talk herself out of it a million times over the course of an hour, but ultimately she couldn't not see Ashley again. She had bought her new album, heard the songs, and it pained her to listen to it, and tonight she was going to get her chance to confront Ashley about the lyrics.

It wasn't much of a confrontation, as soon as the door closed and she found herself alone with the amped up rocker the air sizzled between them. Spencer avoided eye contact as they circled each other slowly around the small dressing room, Ashley advancing, Spencer retreating. Ashley broke the silence.

"I didn't think you'd come." It wasn't a question or accusatory, just a simple statement.

"Why did you invite me?"

Ashley paused and then decided to be honest, "I wanted to see you again."

Spencer looked down and fidgeted with the straps of her purse, "Really?" Before Ashley could respond she continued, "Because I got your message and I thought it was pretty clear how you felt."

Dark brows scrunched in confusion, "I didn't send a message?"

Finally Spencer found the strength to look into dark mocha eyes. She found herself paralyzed by the pure emotion and desire that poured from them. Ashley took advantage of her momentary incapacitation and advanced on her again, but before she could reach the blonde, Spencer quickly pulled a jewel case from her purse and pressed it against the rock stars chest.

Ashley paused, hand midway to the school girl's waist and looked down; Spencer released the CD and stepped back. The brunette instinctively reached for the case before it could hit the floor and Spencer retreated again.

Spencer spoke with her back to Ashley while she pretended to focus on a picture hanging crooked on the wall, "I wanted to get it autographed."

Ashley shook her head as she adjusted to the sudden change in conversation, she was confused, "wait, back up, you said you got a message?"

Spencer turned, arms folded across her chest and tried to face the rock princess again, "Yeah, she motioned toward the CD forgotten in Ashley's hand, "I'm pretty certain I know the exact night that you wrote Innocence, but I got the impression that maybe number 11 was meant for me too."

Ashley stood staring emptily at the blonde, in that moment she had no idea which song she was referencing. You would have thought that having written and performed the song, she would know her own CD but the rocker could care less what order they were recorded. Brown eyes drifted down to the jewel case in her hand, but before she could read the title she heard the first line whispered.

The blonde didn't even know she was speaking until the words were past her lips.

_You had your heart set on an angel's kiss_

"Stop", brown eyes looked up to meet blue, Ashley knew the next line. Spencer knew it too; she ignored the command and continued.

_Maybe a taste of bliss_

Spencer kept whi_s_pering the words; she didn't say the lines with the same venom that Ashley spit during a performance. No, the blonde's vocals were cold, spoken flat without any inflection, just how she felt.

_Maybe a long white dress and fist full of flowers_

"I know the words Spencer." Ashley knew every word, every hook but she couldn't hear her words thrown back at her and see the pain they caused. Her eyes pleaded with the school girl to stop.

Spencer wasn't sure if she could say the next few lines anyway, this was the part that confused her, these words didn't hold the same cocky edge as Innocence. They didn't scream at her about her own foolishness and stupidity. No these sounded almost guilty? She met Ashley's gaze as both girls stood silent, hearing the song play in their own minds, Spencer wishing she could read the answers in sad mocha eyes.

_You wrapped your arms around a murderer_

_Pretending it didn't hurt_

_Every time I cut you deeper and deeper_

Ashley dropped her head again and stared down at her own caricature brought to life on the cover of the album. Spencer had it all wrong; this song was a lie, a cover, a miserable attempt to hide her unhappiness. These words were an attempt to bury her feelings of guilt over seducing the young blonde and then throwing her to the curb. She was no good for her, never should have contacted her, didn't deserve her forgiveness.

_Hey, I'm not the one_

_I'm not the one_

_I'm not the one you want to give your heart to_

Spencer couldn't take the silence anymore, "So, yeah, um, if you could just sign it, I'll get out of here and you can do whatever, or whomever it is that you normally do after shows." The school girl was still hearing the words in her head and she wanted to get out of there, not be face to face with the person who so painfully delivered the message.

_You came_

_You fell_

It was easier to hear it from her stereo, but she couldn't look at Ashley anymore and think about those words being said about her and too her.

_You thought this was something else_

_This has got nothing to do with love_

The rock star wanted to explain, she heard the words in her head, knew what they must sound like, but the school girl didn't understand the lasting impression she left with the brunette.

_You beg_

_You plead_

The brunette took a deep breathe, it didn't matter, none of it mattered, the song was right, Ashley had cut her deep and the blonde shouldn't waste her heartache on someone undeserving of her love.

_You wanted more than you could keep_

_This has got nothing to do with love_

The blonde was getting fidgety, she wished the audio in her head would stop, the words felt amplified as if they came straight from her stereo speakers.

_I gave you just enough to paralyze  
Thought maybe you could satisfy_

"Is it about me?" It was barely a whisper, Spencer couldn't look at Ashley anymore, but she needed to know.

Ashley thought about the last line of the second verse.

_Sometimes I get so bored with you, boy_

She could lie; tell her the whole thing was written about some other random night of her life with some guy she didn't know. But she couldn't, she couldn't see the school girl standing there or look her in the eye and say those words weren't written because of her. She chose not to say anything; she learned long ago from her manager that you keep people's interest by giving them something to talk about and then not divulging any answers. Hence the last line of the second verse, made for good gossip, and now it had protected her from being directly confronted by her own lyrics. She wasn't going to give Spencer an answer, let her think what she wanted.

Silently Ashley walked over to a shelf along the wall, opened the jewel case and removed the cover; she quickly scribbled across the front and then fit it back in its place. She turned and held the case out to Spencer, but the blonde didn't budge, the saddest eyes she'd ever seen were holding her own like a life preserver.

Ashley felt compelled to speak to the pain reflected in the school girl's eyes, "People make mistakes Spencer. I made a mistake. I asked you here tonight to tell you that I can't get you out of my head. Your tears are the last thing I see every night before I fall asleep and your smile is the only thing I want to wake up too. I am sorry I hurt you and I understand if you can't forgive me for the way I treated you…."

The blonde was shocked; she pulled her lower lip between her teeth and chewed on it as she debated how to respond. What if this was all a game, just so Ashley could have another one night stand and then send her packing. She didn't want to be on the hurting end of any more rock songs. No, she was not going to give Ashley the satisfaction of drawing her in twice only to spit her out.

With all the courage she could muster she snatched the CD from Ashley's hand and strode past her to the door. She threw it open and didn't look back when she turned down the hallway her feet carrying her as fast as she could go. She had to get out of there before she changed her mind, before she thought of those eyes again and how much pain they reflected. Out of what can only be called morbid curiosity she raised the jewel case in her hand to see what the rock star had written. The content stopped her dead in her tracks and she instinctively reached for her phone.

There was no conscious thought to her movements as her feet started to move backwards. Shaking fingers dialed an unfamiliar number and before she knew it she was back in front of Ashley's open dressing room door.

The rock star sat with her back to the door, head hung in her hands, Spencer watched as the brunette ignored her vibrating phone. Spencer kept hitting send on her own cell and waiting not making a sound from the doorway.

Finally Ashley got up with a huff and grabbed her phone looking at the number and preparing to tear into whoever was on the other end. One look at the caller ID and she immediately flipped it open, but before she could answer, she heard a soft, "Hey" from behind her.

Ashley spun around and in two short steps she had Spencer by the wrist pulled her into the dressing room and slammed the door behind them. The blonde's eyes went wide as she collided with the rock star, her startled body tried to retreat but she found herself pinned between Ashley and the closed door. Their lips were a breath apart, but the bold brunette hesitated and moved mocha eyes up to meet cobalt blue.

"I'll be in town two more nights, then St Louis, two weeks on the west coast, then New York. I make no promises or commitments, I don't do relationships and I never trust anyone with my heart, but if you call me I will answer and if you come see me on the road I want to be with you."

Spencer shivered, she could see the sincerity in those dark brooding eyes, she believed in second chances and even if she didn't, she couldn't have stopped the rapid acceleration of her heart or the way her body wanted to mold itself to Ashley's. She wanted this opportunity and knew that if heartbreak were to follow it would be her own fault.

……end flashback………………

Ashley shuddered as she recalled the next several hours of that night, her heart beat skipped and she took a deep breath to calm herself. Acting on instinct she snatched up her cell and hit speed dial, but before it could even ring once she hit end.

She replayed the words she sang every night on stage and the reason she had written them. She was not good enough for Spencer, the school girl had already given her a second, third and fourth chance and she blew. The last request the blonde had made to her lover was for Ashley not to contact her again, and this was the one thing, that the rock star was going do right.


	5. Second Verse

**A/N Probably not necessary, but incase you were wondering these characters don't belong to me and the lyrics all belong to Halestorm.**

**For those of you who have been following this little adventure, hope this chapter was worth the wait. I took a little vacation from work this week and spent some quality time with the fam, real life overruled my fictional obsessions. Think I'm gonna have this wrapped up in a couple more chapters, so hang with me, the end is near.**

* * *

CHAPTER FIVE

Spencer was nervous; she was pacing outside Ashley's closed dressing room door.

The blonde had easily gained access to the back of the arena. Several members of the crew were actually excited to see her, after engaging in polite conversation and a few hugs she had asked about Ashley. Within seconds three of the stage hands and the sound guy were texting, calling and radioing anyone they could think of to discover the rock stars location, as no one had seen her since the show ended.

Eventually the drummer, RJ, intercepted some of the traffic and found his way to the back of the stadium. Spencer didn't see him coming and before she knew it she was enveloped in a bone crushing embrace. After the drummer let her up for air, they exchanged quick playful banter and he pointed her towards the dressing rooms. Before she departed RJ told her that Ashley was alone and that the band had several hours before they had to be packed up and on the road for their next show.

That had been about ten minutes ago and Spencer was still wearing a hole in the floor. She couldn't do it, now that she was standing here, she couldn't open the door. RJ said she was alone, that she had turned down Joey and some 'friends', the same as she had every night for the past six months.

The blonde wanted to believe what she'd been told, but even if she did, what if tonight was different. She couldn't stomach the idea of finding Ashley in the arms of someone else. Spencer didn't necessarily believe that Ashley had been celibate during the last six months, she had no reason to be, and it was completely against her nature. Maybe she was just being more discrete than normal, if so, she could be with some one right now.

The nervous blonde shook that thought from her head, she had no reason or right to feel jealous. Ashley was an adult and could do what she wanted, but just the thought of it brought back painful memories.

Spencer stopped pacing and stood staring at the door, she felt the cool cinder blocks against her shoulders as she backed against the far wall. The blonde forced her eyes from the door and up to the ceiling as she leaned her head back. The last time she had stopped by unannounced it had been the beginning of the end for them.

…………………….flashback………three years ago…………

"Hey gorgeous."

Ashley looked up to see one of her dancers leaning against the door jam of the bathroom that connected to her dressing room. The rock star tried not to react to the fact that her half naked body was being raked over by hungry eyes.

She responded to her visitor with a heavy sigh, "Do you need something?"

Madison replied with obvious sexual innuendo, "You."

"Cute," the rocker replied with noticeable sarcasm. Ashley tried to ignore the girl and instead focused on her reflection as she straightened her hair. She had walked right into that one and a year or so ago she would have pounced on the opportunity, but these days she was trying to behave, or at least make up for the guilt that was eating her alive.

Madison wasn't dissuaded by the brunette's rejection; she confidently stepped up behind the brunette and met her reflection in the mirror. Green eyes met brown and it was very clear what the dancer wanted.

Ashley took a deep breath and tried to speak calmly, she did not want the feisty Latina to know the actual affect she was having on her. "Not gonna happen."

"Already did." The reply was soft, seductive as she inched as close as possible to Ashley without actually touching her.

The petite brunette couldn't control the slight tremble her body released as she reacted to the voluptuous girl radiating body heat against her nearly bare back. She fixed a hard glare on the green eyes reflected over her shoulder and gritted out through clenched teeth. "It was a mistake."

Madison boldly dropped a feather light kiss on Ashley's shoulder ever thankful that she had caught the rock princess just out of the shower, she trailed her eyes over the black bra and jeans that seductively clung to the rockers body. The dancer smiled as she remembered how that same body had clung to her and responded to her touch, "It was a mistake worth repeating."

The rock princess was clinging to her resolve; she had made a promise to Spencer two months ago when she left on this European tour. Ashley looked at her reflection and the ring on her left hand glared back, mocking her. It wasn't an engagement ring, Spencer thought they were too young, but it was a promise that the school girl was going to remain true to her and she asked her rock princess to do the same. Ashley had failed.

She had failed in more ways than one throughout their relationship, but the drunken night she had spent with Madison was the first time she had been completely unfaithful. She tried to rationalize what happened, vocalizing her own defense. "I was drunk and you were high. It never should have happened and it won't happen again."

This time the Latina actually looked hesitant but that quickly melted into determination and she swiftly pulled Ashley into her, turning her head roughly so she could kiss the rock star. Ashley went rigid and didn't respond to the lips against her own. Her body however betrayed her and she became painfully aware of the hand that was making its way along the top of her jeans, over toned abs, and finally cupped her over her bra. She was disappointed in her lack of self control and wanted to cry when she moaned and pushed harder into the hand that was ruining her.

Madison broke the kiss and smirked at the dazed brunette's expression. Both hands freely wandered her body and she began laying kisses along the top of bronzed shoulders, but when a hand dipped into the front of the rocker's jeans she was surprised to find the petite brunette grasping her wrist.

Ashley was trying to focus and breathe, she was thinking about Spencer, reminding herself that she wanted to be with Spencer. Even though she could close her eyes and pretend that the wandering hands and lips belonged to the beautiful blonde, they didn't. The rock star clung to her last shred of self control and focused on the school girl, she couldn't lose her.

She was the one constant in Ashley's ever changing world, the only person that the rock star could always lean on, Ashley wouldn't let her hormone driven self ruin the singular real relationship that she had ever had. Spencer meant more to her than that, it would crush her to lose the beautiful blonde from her life. It would break her heart.

Ashley didn't even register the continued affection she was receiving, Madison had slipped from her grasp and was continuing to let her hands stroke and manipulate Ashley's body. The brunette was too stunned by her revelation to respond. Was she in love? That was the only explanation; one could hardly become heartbroken unless someone else held their heart, right?

She didn't know she was even saying the words that were spinning in her head.

_I'm in love with somebody_

Madison heard the words but didn't even hesitate as she flicked the buttons loose on Ashley's button fly jeans. She could give a damn if the rock princess was in love, she knew what Ashley wanted and the Latina was about to give it to her.

Ashley finally snapped out of her daze when she felt probing fingers come dangerously close to making her knees buckle. She grabbed the other girl's wrist and flung her hand away, she dropped the long forgotten straight iron to the floor and leaned both hands on the vanity, mumbling more words to herself.

_Found someone who completes me_

"What is your problem?" Madison was getting pissed, that was twice she had been rejected right before she got what she was after.

Ashley spun around to face the Latina, her face was brilliant and her smile crinkled her nose in the most adorable way. She was completely lost in her own elation at what she had discovered. In that particular moment she did the one thing that helped save what she didn't even know she had already lost. She spoke the words sweetly as if she were revealing a cherished secret to her best friend.

_I'm in love with somebody, Oh yeah  
And its not you_

What Ashley didn't know was that her school girl had cut class and flown half way across the globe to surprise her. That same girl had been standing in her dressing room listening and watching and was about to walk out of her life forever. The blonde stopped when she heard the sincerity and excitement in Ashley's voice.

Maybe she had overheard wrong, maybe this girl had been pursuing Ashley. Maybe they had crossed a line, but if the rock star set her straight and shut down her advances. Then maybe, just maybe, she could forgive her, because Spencer already knew that she loved Ashley. Hearing those feelings returned made her want to stay despite the fact that her chest felt as though it were being crushed by a freight train. She waited listening for what she wanted to hear._  
_

"Chica, I don't care who you love, I'm not in it for all of that." Madison stepped seductively forward, forcing Ashley to back up into the vanity. She lowered her voice as she leaned in to kiss the shorter girl, "So why don't you stop talking and I'll show you things that farm girl doesn't even know about."

Ashley quickly raised her left hand in front of Madison's face, effectively cutting off the attempted kiss.

_Read my finger whatcha gonna do?_

She wiggled her ring finger and kept going on her tirade ignoring the shocked expression on the other girls face.

_See these lips are all done talkin' to you_

Ashley needed to end this once and for all and she wasn't going to hold anything back. The dancer had been after her for months, it had been easy to play off her advances with Spencer by her side, but the Latina was a player and the rock star had fallen far too easily into her trap.  
_  
I don't mean to bruise your ego  
But I've had you nailed down for so long_

Ashley placed both hands on Madison shoulders and with a flirtatious smile gave her a little nudge that sent her stumbling backwards. The brunette wanted to laugh at the expression on the dancers face

"Fuck you," raced from Madison's lips as turned and stormed out of the bathroom.

Ashley's nimble fingers started to do up the buttons of her jeans, but she stopped and glanced down at the script S tattooed on the inside of her hip. It had been a drunken whim, but at this moment she was so glad she had done it. Tracing a finger over it loving she smiled to herself and stated simply.  
_  
And I don't see your name on my tattoo_

Ashley was filled with relief and hope that she could repair the damage she had done to her commitment to Spencer. She called out to the seething vixen hoping to get in a few parting shots as she grabbed a shirt to put on.  
_  
Hope you understand  
It's been a long time coming  
Its for the best  
No offense_

She hadn't expected a reply, honestly she thought Madison was long gone, "You'll be sorry Ashley, you and me it could have been really good."

What!? The rock princess couldn't believe what she was hearing. Seriously what had this girl failed to understand? She called out again as was finishing the buttons on her shirt and exited the bathroom.

_I'm in love with somebody  
Found someone who completes me  
I'm in love with somebody, Oh yeah  
__And its not you_

Her punishing outburst came to a stuttering end as she came face to face with her girlfriend. Madison stood arms crossed staring down the smaller blonde. For one heart stopping moment Ashley thought it was all over, she looked at Madison, her eyes pleading for her to leave without saying anything.

"Dios mio." Spencer turned in disbelief that the Latina had the audacity to speak up under the current circumstances. "Hey blonde, she can tell you she's in love with you, but It was my name she was screaming two weeks ago while I…"

Ashley cried out effectively ending Madison's antagonizing comment.

_I know who you think you are_

Spencer visibly flinched and felt sick at just the thought of what happened between them. She gripped the edge of the small love seat and tried to stop the room from spinning. She felt light headed. Maybe she was wrong maybe she couldn't forgive and forget. Spencer couldn't bare the thought of sharing her lover. If Ashley really did love her, was she capable of giving up her rock star ways? The blonde barely registered the words Ashley continued to shout at the other girl.  
_  
Sorry I've turned you on but I'm kissing you off_

The brunette stalked over to Madison taking her by the arm she dragged the struggling Latina to the door and forcefully shoved her out, but the bigger girl stopped the door from being slammed in her face.

"Ashley you know I'm right, we were good together, we still can be." Madison reached out to tuck hair behind the brunette's ear but she jerked away from the touch.  
_  
Your lines are whiskey and cigarettes  
They're not enough to make me forget _

Ashley struggled with the door again trying to close it, then decided she didn't care; she let Madison stand there as she turned back to Spencer. The blonde wouldn't meet her eyes and it looked like she might be having an anxiety attack. The rocker whispered her thoughts.

I've got someone who has raised the bar

Madison hollered over Ashley's confession, "She'll screw you over again chica, you just wait, she's not a one person kind of person, Ashley wants things that you can't give her!"

Mocha eyes burned like hot coals when she spun back around, her aggression and rage caused green eyes to open wide and Madison took an involuntary step back. She'd never seen this side of Ashley; the hard partying rock star was usually all about a good time.  
_  
I've heard it all before  
Stop spinning your wheels  
I'll show you the door  
No hard feelings_

And with that Ashley slammed the door and locked it, turning she met Spencer's tear stained face. Shame burned through her and she dropped her eyes to the floor.

"Say it again."

Ashley snapped her gaze back to Spencer, her heart was racing, she felt trapped, no idea how to circumvent a disaster. Her eyes darted all around the room before resting back on sad blue eyes. "What?"

Spencer stood and searched Ashley's face, for what she wasn't sure, but she needed something, anything that could mend her aching heart. "Say it again, what you told her in the bathroom."

Panicked brown eyes focused only on her. "Spencer, please, I…," she stuttered unsure where to begin.

The blonde tilted her head and looked at her girlfriend with all the love she could muster considering her heart had all but stopped beating a few short moments ago. She waited for her gorgeous girlfriend to come to her senses.

Mocha eyes came alive with hope and she started with a whisper never breaking eye contact, her voice got stronger as she went.

_I'm in love with somebody  
Found someone who completes me  
I'm in love with somebody_

Ashley's train of thought was broken by a knock at the door. She was gonna kill that loco Latina right after she fired her. Storming up to the door she jerked it open as she screamed in frustration.

You've probably never been shot down before  
Ill try and make it easier  
Its not you

Her rant came to an abrupt halt when she found RJ on the other side of the door. His eyes were big and round and he looked like a fish out of water before he finally managed to sputter out. "Bus leaves in an hour."

Ashley just slammed the door in his face, turned back to her girlfriend and nearly came unglued; she could see hope and pain, confusion and desperation, love and regret. Everything swirled along with the tears in her cobalt eyes.

"Spence….please forgive me." Those were the only words she had left to say before her own tears slid down her face.

………..end...flashback……………………

It was a painful and slow recovery for them, but Spencer loved her and she believed that Ashley would never hurt her again. She also believed that after long months of rebuilding their relationship that her heart had mended and nothing would ever separate them again. She graduated from college went on the road with Ashley. They were going to make the impossible work.

But Spencer had been wrong, she recognized that now, she should have worked harder to deal with her feelings instead of just trying to make them go away. If only she had really worked through it and forced her rock princess to go to counseling with her, maybe she wouldn't have thrown everything away and be back begging for her own second chance.

Spencer snapped herself out of the painful memories and glared at the door handle, she was a breath away from the only person she had ever loved and she couldn't find the strength to take the last step. All the time, all the miles, and the wishing things were different weighed on the blonde. She knew Ashley's carefully crafted sexual deviant persona, she knew what the fans wanted and the rock star played to that, she gave them everything they wanted. Was Spencer ready to accept that lifestyle again? To know that Ashley would always flirt, always straddle the line of her relationship to feed the media and excite her fans. Could she trust that she wouldn't cross that very fuzzy line again?

She could, she would, if Ashley would give her another chance. Stepping forward Spencer reached for the door handle, but hesitated and decided to knock. Three short taps and she waited.


	6. Refrain

**A/N I wanna be a Halestorm groupie and be BFF's with Spashley…but I don't know them or own any of their hotness.**

**Okay, so I'm kind of coming down off my Halestorm high and this chapter took a little bit more work write. But I know there are a few people (literally lol) out there who have reviewed or marked it as worth their time so I sat down tonight and tapped out another chapter. Hope I didn't disappoint.**

* * *

CHAPTER SIX

Ashley was curled on the sofa in her dressing room, a pillow clutched to her chest. Brown eyes were sad and unfocused; the rock star was just letting the seconds tick away. A light tapping on the door barely registered in her memory muddled mind, she ignored it.

Tomorrow night was the last night of the tour; Ashley was supposed to go home, to an empty beach house in L.A. It was almost Christmas, the band and her crew were excited. Hell even her manager had managed to empty her schedule of radio and TV interviews, the rock star was set to have six weeks of glorious freedom.

She should be sharing it with family and friends. Well what little family she had, her half sister Kyla would spend New Years with Ashley for her annual Eve Extravaganza. But Kyla would spend Christmas in Boston with her mom and the rock star would be alone.

Ashley tried to redirect her subconscious; she didn't want to think about the upcoming month or what she would do. She attempted to block all thoughts of wanting to spend the holidays with a certain blonde or the fact that she had so few people on her gift list. Oh sure, she had the band, crew, and the standard schmoozing gifts that her assistant would purchase and send. But when it came right down to it, the rock star had so few people in her life that weren't 'in the business.'

She had lost everything when she lost Spencer. The Midwestern girl had a large extended family. Granted the beginning of their relationship when been a bit of a struggle against small town ideals, eventually the smooth talking brunette had won over her girlfriend's relatives. Holidays with the Carlin's meant delicious home cooked meals made by Spencer's dad and listening to the ridiculously fake egotistical exploits of her brother Glen. Smiling and saying you like ugly Christmas sweaters from grandma and of course holding hands with her mother during prayers. Ashley's palms grew sweaty at the memory. She still feared that the woman could somehow read her mind through touch and would strangle the brunette if she knew all the things the rockers hands had done to her daughter.

It was the only time in Ashley's life that she had felt apart of a family. But none of it meant anything without the blonde. Standing under the mistletoe and giggling like teenagers while exchanging a kiss and trying not to get caught. Hugs and tears with the family before leaving to spend their own Christmas curled up next to a fire or a midnight swim and laying out on the beach watching the sunset. The brunette squeezed the pillow tighter as she imagined holding her lover.

Her train of thought was interrupted by tapping again, this time brown eyes turned to stare at the door handle, wondering if the idiot on the other side was brazen enough to enter without permission. Laying her head back against the pillows, Ashley's thoughts wondered back to the last time she had cuddled with Spencer back stage after a show. The rock star was the happiest that she had ever been, she had everything she ever wanted wrapped in her arms. Until some idiot knocked on the door.

……………flashback……….two years ago……….

Legs and arms were wrapped around each other as the two girls lay on the couch in Ashley's dressing room; both were drifting in and out of sleep. It was late and they were both tired, but they cherished each others presence, feeling content in their love.

Ashley had proposed, one year exactly from the date that everything nearly collapsed around her, the night that Spencer gave her a third chance at love. They were two months from the wedding and had been spending more and more time apart as the rocker continued to tour and Spencer made wedding plans and settled into their new beach front home.

Ashley had to get on the bus soon, but Spencer was headed home to continue with wedding plans and was going to try and catch up with the songstress in a week. After the incident a year ago, the sexy brunette vowed to never be apart from her lover for more than a week. She never wanted to be tempted to think with her libido again and up until about two months ago that plan had worked perfectly. But as the wedding got closer their days apart had gotten longer and longer. The girls hadn't been together in almost three weeks and Ashley was thrilled to be wrapped up in her lover again.

The rock star was happy and basking in the feel of the woman in her arms, storing it away for her next few lonely nights alone, when her euphoria was interrupted by a knock at the door. She slid out from under the half asleep blonde and stumbled sleepily to the door. Pulling it open she was taken by surprise when a good looking dark haired guy leaned down placed a quick kiss on her lips.

Stumbling back a little to regain her composure she tried to comprehend what was going on, "Aiden, what are you doing here?"

"I missed you."

Ashley was still confused, "What?"

Aiden smiled and held up a large bouquet of flowers, "I brought these for you." He brushed a curl back from her face, "I haven't stopped thinking about how hot we were together two nights ago."

Mocha eyes searched his face for some kind explanation that seemed rational, she took the flowers from his hand and turned to toss them on the vanity when she noticed angry blue eyes watching her every move.

Spencer thought she had everything in life she could ever want…five seconds ago. In the span of a few seconds she went from her and Ashley being back on track and stronger than ever, to her jealousy and distrust raging back to the surface. Right now, in this moment she could feel her world crumbling and it felt like the bitter pill she knew she may some day have to swallow.

"Spence this isn't what it looks like." Ashley took a step towards the blonde hoping to diffuse a potentially explosive situation.

"Really Ash, because it looks like you and your boyfriend got your nights confused."

Ashley stopped in her tracks, disappointed that the blonde still didn't trust her, pissed at herself for creating that distrust and a little angry that she didn't know her fiancé was still holding her mistakes against her.

"Who are you?" Both girls turned towards Aiden and burned daggers through him their glares.

Ashley reluctantly turned to face him so that she could make herself very clear, "My fiancé, the girl I'm going to marry, so whatever you thought…."

"Did you sleep with him?"

Ashley whipped around her mouth agape; she looked at her lover like she'd never seen her before. The rock star could feel her ears burn and her stomach started churning.

Before Ashley could speak, Aiden put the first nail in her coffin, "Oh yeah."

Spencer was moving before Ashley could reach her; the blonde was storming around the room grabbing her shoes, jacket and purse. Every time the rock star got close to her she quickly put space between them.

Ashley fought against the burning in her chest that felt like it was sucking the life out of her and forced her mind to speak the words in her panicked mind, "In high school! Spencer look at me, we slept together in high school, not recently! Spencer please stop!" Ashley could hear her voice breaking; feel the fear clenching her insides.

She turned to Aiden her voice finding strength with desperation, "Tell her! Tell her it was in high school!"

Aiden was a little taken aback by the scene progressing in front of him and the fear in Ashley's voice. That wasn't the girl he remembered, he wanted the feisty brunette back that he had dreamed about over the past decade. He decided to tell the truth but leave it open to interpretation turning to the blonde he started with a smirk, "The first time we slept together was back in school, but two nights ago, way hotter."

He finished with a wink at Ashley and she felt the second nail driven through her heart, "You son of a bitch, nothing happened!"

Brown eyes pleaded with her fiancé to believe her, "Two nights ago I recognized him in the crowd, I pulled him up on stage and kissed him, then I sat him in a chair and finished the song on his lap." The rocker felt like she was suffocating, dizziness plagued her vision and she wanted to sit down, but she had to make the blonde believe her, "That's it nothing else happened. Spencer I swear that's it." She waited, this was it, she could feel it, her lover would either trust her or walk away.

"She gave me the best lap dance I've ever had," Aiden turned to the crumbling brunette and with a cocky nod he indicated himself, "you wanted this, still do."

Ashley watched Spencer back towards the door and spoke calmly to her lover.

_I know what you must be thinking_

Spencer took another step, she couldn't tell the truth from the gossip magazines anymore. She couldn't keep waiting for the next time that Ashley would be unfaithful; she couldn't keep waiting for her lover to give herself to someone else. Spencer's heart was breaking because even if she didn't believe her reason for leaving, she never wanted to live through knowing it actually happened. Ashley spoke again, grasping for the right words to save herself.

_But you're not right_

The blue eyes that had refused to meet her own finally looked up. Ashley staggered back into the couch and swallowed thickly, there was nothing familiar in those cobalt eyes. It was like she had been completed erased, any love that was normally expressed in her lovers eyes had been blasted into oblivion. The rock star didn't even have the energy to fight for breathe as she watched her fiancé slide off her engagement ring and sit it next to the flowers. The lid on Ashley's coffin had been sealed.

Spencer disappeared out the door and Ashley sank to her knees. Aiden was immediately at her side with his hand on her shoulder, "Hey, babe it's all good, everything's gonna be fine."

Tear filled eyes looked up at Aiden in shock and disbelief. She screamed at him.

_You should know I'm not your baby  
Not tonight  
I never was_

Those were the last words Spencer heard before she hit the exit and ran towards her car. It didn't matter, it was all too much, she couldn't live like this anymore, always wondering if she was enough for the sexy rock star. If her love was enough to keep her loyal, if her simple Midwestern ways made her happy, if she was skilled enough to please her. She couldn't do this anymore; she refused to let herself be set up for heart break.

Aiden and Ashley were in a bit of a staring match. Brown eyes glared at him wishing she could blink him out of existence. How did she let this happen, she wasn't this person. Ashley shook her head and stood. A few short years ago she would have laughed this off and spent the night with one or the both of them. She didn't get close to people didn't allow people's feelings to impact her. She never gave her heart to anyone. She was not that kind of girl. She mumbled to herself.

_The kind of girl to trip and fall in love  
I never was_

Ashley kept going, starting a slow circle around the dressing room. Absentmindedly touching random objects throughout the room, she continued to ramble to herself.

_The kind to say enough is not enough  
I never was  
The touchy feely, co-dependent kind_

Finally Aiden spoke, "Ash, are you okay? I mean obviously you're upset but I thought we had a good thing, two days ago, high school; we've definitely got a connection. I mean I read the tabloids I know you've done the whole lesbian thing for a while but you should give this a chance."

Ashley paused her pacing and looked up at him like he had grown two heads. She spoke honestly.

_I like the feeling but I'm not on cloud nine_

Aiden's arrogance returned, reading potential in her little admission, he closed the distance between the two of them, but Ashley stopped him with a hand to his chest. She wasn't really looking at him just incoherently speaking words as she shook her head again.

_Ya love it ya hate it  
Ya think it ya say it  
Ya want it ya need it_

Aiden leaned down and tried to kiss her but she jerked her head back and glared at him.  
_  
I tell ya but you don't believe it_

The rock princess surprised him when she shoved him hard with both hands; he fell backwards onto the couch. Ashley's shock and disorientation at experiencing her whole world fall apart suddenly focused on the person responsible for starting that disaster.

_What were you expecting?  
Another lullaby?  
Are you kidding?  
You must be high_

She was screaming now allowing her rage to bubble to the surface.

_You must be high  
'Cause it was just one kiss_  
_Hey, Hey, Hey_

Ashley's emotions started to muddle her mind and she realized she was stuttering. Unable to find words to continue to describe how moronic this man was she turned away, but Aiden tried to pull her down on the couch with him. The rocker snatched her arm away and stormed over to the discarded flowers.

_I don't need your flowers they'll just go to waste_

She threw them in the garbage, then she picked up the box of candy she hadn't even realized was there.

_I don't want your candy cause I don't like the taste_

This time she threw them at him, but he dodged the bullet and got to his feet. For a second Ashley thought she had gone too far, he was a good eight inches taller than her and she wasn't exactly sure she wanted to piss him off. Turning her back on him she paced up to the vanity to stare at her own reflection while she continued to rant.

_There never was  
A possibility I'd stick around  
It never was  
My intention just to let you down  
I never was  
The kind of girl that's good at playin' house_

At this point she wasn't even sure if she was talking to Aiden anymore or if she was trying to convince herself that this was the truth about her relationship. Aiden walked up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder, he met her eyes in the mirror, "Give us a chance I think we can make this work."

She met his reflection in the mirror with a disbelieving look.

_Ya want it ya need it  
I tell ya but you don't believe it_

"Ash, we were good together, I know we can be good together again." He stepped in closer and started to wrap his arms around her waist but she shoved him off and turned to glare at him. He apparently had a very thick skull and she needed to repeat herself in order for him to get the picture.

_What were you expecting?  
Another lullaby?  
Are you kidding?  
You must be high  
You must be high  
'Cause it was just one kiss_

Aiden was starting to get desperate, maybe he had read everything wrong, maybe it was all an act, a show for her thousands of fans, but it had felt so real to him. He needed to do something; he wanted her back and felt like he was losing his only chance, "Marry me!"

Ashley's mouth dropped open and she blinked her eyes a few times just to see if this was all a bad dream, she could wake up from, accepting that she was in reality she spit out her response.

_Everything about you makes me scream_

Aiden got down on one knee and pulled his high school ring from his finger, holding it up to Ashley he tried again, "Please, Ashley, give us another chance, agree to be my wife."

Ashley needed him gone, she needed to be alone.

_Be a man and get up off your knees  
I'm trying to say this in the nicest way._

…………….end …flashback…………

Ashley heard tapping again and was brought back to the moment. The tired and emotional rock star finally dragged herself off the couch and started for the door.

The song from that night was released eight months after Spencer had walked out of her life. The rock princess had demanded that it be an unplanned addition to the album they were almost finished recording and released as the first single.

As Ashley reached for the door handle she had no idea she was about to come face to face with her past

She didn't know that song was the reason the blonde had gone to the concert in June. Much like the first time she let Ashley back in her life, Spencer went to the concert seeking answers. She wanted to know if the song was about Aiden and the truth about what happened.

On the other side of the door Spencer recalled those same events that brought her to where she was. She believed her former lover when she swore to her that nothing happened with Aiden. Spencer stayed that night last summer with Ashley on her tour bus, but in the morning she had regretted her rash decision. She was grateful to have the truth, but she thought that night had been a mistake; too soon, she needed time to think.

She knocked on the door again and heard cussing from the other side. Her breath caught in her throat. It had been six months since she had last scene the gorgeous brunette and Spencer had come to realize that the only mistake she made was walking away from Ashley Davies twice in the same lifetime.


	7. Solo

**A/N: Okay so all disclaimers remain the same…even though this story is totally rockin (pun intended) I have no rights and don't own anything.**

**Wow so all kinds of excuses could be made on my behalf about work and illness and time constraints, but the honest truth is I was feeling less than inspired to write this and couldn't decide on an ending. So after much deliberation and weeks of agonizing I've decided that this is it. Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

CHAPTER SEVEN

Face to face, both hearts beat just a little quicker, mocha eyes searched cobalt blue for answers.

Ashley was stunned she stood motionless trying to process reality from all of her dreams.

Spencer knew she was home. All her fears, all her reservations, none of it mattered. She needed Ashley in her life, needed to be connected, to feel complete again. She sucked in a quick breath and blew it out; this was it, now or never.

"Can we talk?" The blonde was surprised by how weak and unsure she sounded. She watched the rock star closely trying to gauge her reaction, but the brunette just looked lost. She made no move to let Spencer enter and still hadn't spoken, the blonde started to ramble.

"I know it's late, maybe I should have called, I mean…you're probably tired and have some…thing…else to do, but I thought maybe…" nervous eyes searched Ashley's face and all she saw was shock, she wasn't sure that the brunette was even listening, "oh what the hell…" acting on instinct the blonde reached out and grabbed Ashley by the lapels and jerked her forward crashing her lips against the rock stars.

Too long, it had been too long since Ashley had felt herself surge with desire. Where her mind was unable to find words her body screamed into overdrive. Her lips were hard and possessive against the blondes. She forced her former lover backwards across the hallway and Spencer's back slammed into the wall.

Ashley's hands were everywhere all at once, both hands splayed across the warm smooth skin of the blonde's stomach and then raced and tripped their way over her ribcage and up her back to her shoulder blades, then down to aggressively clutch and squeeze her backside.

She wasn't thinking she was feeling, everything, desperation, desire, hope, pain, regret, confusion, heartbreak, loneliness, and love. One calloused guitar hand dropped to the back of Spencer's knee and Ashley guided it up so that it was slung over her hip. The brunette adjusted her feet a little, satisfied the blonde was getting the hint, the rock star leveraged the smaller girl until Spencer had both legs wrapped around her waist.

Strong fingers wrapped into the brunette's curls as Spencer adjusted their position to deepen the kiss. Both girls were breathing heavy through their noses, refusing to break for air; they continued their assault, until hollers and wolf whistles brought them back to reality.

Spencer was embarrassed, her ears burned red and she immediately covered her face with her hands. Ashley slowly lowered the blonde to the ground but held them together as Spencer buried her face in the rock stars neck. Turning towards her band mate she flipped him off with a smirk.

"Now that's the rock star we know and love!" Joey came up and thumped Ashley on the back, the sound resonated through to Spencer's ears and she clutched the brunette closer when she recognized the voice. She couldn't believe how out of control they had been, all the years they were together and they had never been caught by the band. Spencer wasn't a prude or shy about PDA's but they were practically having sex in the hallway and they were caught by her least favorite band member.

"Ash?"

Spencer's voice sounded muffled and far away to the brunette. Brown eyes blinked slowly as the fog of the past lifted. Spencer was standing outside her dressing room door again, unexpected, unannounced, the same as she had been back in June. Ashley felt her heart racing as she reconciled the past with reality, she thought she could feel the blonde warm and real in her arms, but found she had been holding onto a dream.

Instinctively the brunette stepped forward, but Spencer retreated. Ashley dropped her head and stepped back, she was still struggling with the memory of the last time she had been with her lover. The brunette flushed and her blood raced as she tried not to think about pressing the blonde against the far wall. Ashley drew in a long breath through her nose and released it slowly between parted lips. She repeated that calming technique several times but still couldn't find the strength to face the beautiful woman in front of her without wanting to ravish her.

"Ashley, please look at me." Spencer ducked her head and tried to see the brunette's face but it was curtained by curls. The blonde took her own calming breath before she spoke again, "I want to talk about us."

Immediately, hesitant brown eyes snapped up to meet hopeful blue. Ashley could hardly trust her ears, considering her tendency lately to become lost in the past, she thought maybe her heart was feeding her mind what she wanted to hear.

The brunette stepped back from the door and gestured for Spencer to enter. Unable to stop herself lust filled eyes traveled the length of the blonde's body and her fingers itched to follow that same path. She watched as the Midwestern girl hesitated and looked around the room before taking a seat on the couch.

The rock star chuckled bitterly, "Yes, I'm alone, but if you don't believe me, feel free to search the place."

A crash of emotion raged in the blonde, one of complete peace at the husky sound of the rock stars voice and the other of jealousy and betrayal. Spencer watched the gorgeous girl sit uncomfortably across from her and the blonde let the war within her dissipate. She needed this woman back in her life.

Spencer tilted her head and tried to summon a reassuring smile to her face, "Ashley, it's none of my business who you…have or don't have…in your dressing room." The blonde's ears burned a little red. Even after all these years the Midwestern girl couldn't bring herself to say the words, it would always pain her to think of her former lover with anyone else. Spencer hesitated before adding, "…but I would like to change that…"

The normally confident, cocky rock star forgot how to breathe. Her fingers twitched and she tapped out a staccato against her knee as she searched Spencer's face for an explanation.

The blonde began her plea, "Ash, I know it was my choice and I'm the one who walked away…twice… but I realize now what a huge mistake I made. I should have talked to you, should have worked through my feelings…we should have dealt with what happened, talked about it…" Spencer paused concerned, it felt like nothing she was saying was coming out right and she was desperate for the brunette to give her some indication that they could try this again. "I meant to, I was going to, last summer, I wanted to talk to you then, but everything happened so fast and….I shouldn't have disappeared again, Ashley I'm…"

The brunette couldn't hear anymore, the woman she loved more than life itself, was in front of her, asking for a second chance. Ashley should have been elated, she should be celebrating in the arms of her lover, but amazingly she felt empty, cold and dead inside. This was everything she wanted, but she couldn't do it.

"I can't." It fell from her lips in a barely audible whisper, but Spencer heard it.

"What? Why?" The blonde could feel her heart racing in her chest. "What do you mean you can't? You can't forgive me for walking away? You can't because you're in another relationship? You can't be monogamous? You can't…" Spencer stopped when she heard Ashley snort in response to her last comment.

Ashley's knee started to bounce and her fingers picked up the pace on the rhythm she was tapping out.

_You made a mistake_

Spencer breathed out a sigh of relief, thankful that Ashley had listened to her and was willing to talk through this, "Yes, I did…"

The rock star shook her head and held up her hand.

_On the day that you met me and lost your way_

The blonde was stunned into silence. Did Ashley think their entire relationship had been a mistake? All the wonderful memories, overshadowed by a few indiscretions and poor decisions, Spencer didn't believe that.

_You saw all the signs__But you let it go  
You closed your eyes_

"Ashley stop, I don't regret falling in love with you; I don't think it was a mistake to share the years we had to together…" Spencer was scared the brunette wouldn't make eye contact and she looked so lost and broken. The blonde had no idea how to respond; she dreaded what might happen next, no idea how to get through to someone who wouldn't even look at her.

_I should've told you to leave_

Spencer got up off the couch and began to pace around the room. She kept glancing at the rock star, but Ashley avoided her gaze.

For the same reasons that the rock star had abstained from calling the blonde, Ashley resisted rebuilding their relationship. If there was anything she could do to be sure Spencer was happy and prove that she would never hurt the blonde again, it was by staying out of her life. The brunette mumbled aloud the thoughts that had always been in the back of her mind.

_'Cause I knew all the time you couldn't handle me_

Spencer stood hands on her hips staring down at the brunette, "What's that supposed to mean!" The brunette gave no response, emotionally charged the blonde kneeled on the floor in front of the rock star and grabbed Ashley's face with both hands.

Ashley slipped her eyelids closed and refused to see the emotion on Spencer's face. The blonde was so close to her, her fingertips absently stroking the rock stars skin. She was trying to be strong, do the right thing, but she could feel her resolve breaking.

The blonde was beginning to feel desperation claw at her, she felt like not only was she losing an opportunity to be with Ashley again, but the rock star was tearing apart all of the good memories that she held onto over the past two years, "Talk to me Ashley, tell me what your thinking, what your feeling, what I can do to make you love me again."

Spencer watched the brunette swallow thickly and when brown met blue, they were red and glassy from unshed tears.

Ashley opened her mouth to tell Spencer that they were over. That the best thing for the blonde was to leave and never come back, but she was lost and overwhelmed drowning in the emotion that swirled in cobalt eyes. All she wanted to do was pull the blonde to her and hold her and make her promises that she wanted to keep. The words in her head slipped from her lips before she could rein them in.

_But you're hard to resist  
When you're on your knees, begging me  
_

The blonde was hardly aware that she was moving, until sad eyes slipped closed and she could feel Ashley's breathe warm on her face, but before she could seal the kiss the brunette pulled away.

Ashley reached up and grasped Spencer's wrists, gently pulling herself free from the blonde's soft touch. Her former lover rocked back and sat hard on her heals, obviously staggered by the rejection.

The rock star's thumbs unconsciously caressed Spencer's skin as she tried to find the right words to make the blonde understand.

_I tear you down  
I make you bleed eternally_

Spencer slipped free from Ashley's grasp and scrubbed her hands over her face. This was not how she imagined tonight, not even close. The first of many tears slipped free from her eyes and she swiped at them angry at herself for being emotional and not knowing what to do to change the outcome of this conversation.

Ashley fought the urge to take Spencer in her arms and tell her everything would be okay, but she had already learned once that it wasn't what she did, but what the blonde believed that would bring them to ruin. There was always going to be somebody who snuck into her dressing room, some guy who asked for a kiss, hell some girl that would just grab her and kiss her. She couldn't control the frenzy that went with her rock star persona. And what Spencer believed is what would cause her pain.

_Can't help myself  
From hurting you and it's hurting me_

Blue eyes pleaded with brown, "Ashley, I've changed. I know that you didn't sleep with Aiden, I know that 75% of what the tabloids print is complete crap and the rest is a manipulated version of the truth. I know that it was my distrust and my jealousy that caused me to run from you….please give us another chance." Tears ran freely from blue eyes now, Spencer did nothing to brush them away.

Ashley struggled with her rip tide of emotions; she had been such a screw up through out their relationship. Spencer shouldn't be asking for a second chance, Ashley should have been begging for forgiveness, she couldn't fathom that her former lover was still there trying to fix this after everything that Ashley had already said, she wondered if the blonde really understood what she was asking to rebuild.

_I don't have wings so flying with me won't be easy  
'Cause I'm not an angel, I'm not an angel_

"I know, I know that your lifestyle comes with certain…challenges," Spencer reached forward and laced her fingers with Ashley's, "I'm not asking you to be perfect or to give all that up, I'm just asking you to be with me and only me."

Ashley blew out a breath, she felt so guilty, she didn't deserve Spencer, she didn't know how to make things right.

_I hate being that wall  
That you hit when you feel like you gave it all_

Ashley squeezed Spencer's hand and then released it. Over the last six months the rock star had learned without a doubt that she could and would remain faithful to the blonde, but that would stay her secret, she would use that as an excuse to keep her distance from her former lover. Ashley started to stand, needing to put space between them, as the lie was making its way from her lips.

_I keep taking the blame  
When we both know that I'll never change_

Ashley was too stunned to respond when Spencer lunged up from her knees and knocked her back into the couch. The suddenly feisty blonde was straddling her hips and fused their lips together before the brunette had any chance to protest.

Spencer's desperate fingers immediately pulled at the buttons on the front of Ashley's vest until it was open and both hands could flatten against sexy rock star abs.

"Say it again," was mumbled against Ashley's lips, when the brunette didn't respond  
Spencer moved to the side and traced the shell of Ashley' s ear with her tongue before whispering, "All that crap you just told me, say it again, so you'll believe it, because I don't."

Ashley could hardly breathe, let alone think about what she had said more than a couple seconds ago. Her hands gripped the couch cushions and she refused to touch the blonde. After much effort the gears in her mind started turning and she was able to form the words that she needed Spencer to believe.

_I tear you down_

Spencer lowered her lips and assaulted Ashley's neck."You don't." It was said in between sucking and licking at the salty skin under her tongue.

_I make you bleed eternally_

This time the words were gritted between clenched teeth as the brunette tried desperately to not respond to the blonde in her lap. She suppressed a moan when wandering hands drifted higher and traced the edges of her bra. The rock star barely managed to whisper the next words.

_Can't help myself_

Ashley moved her hands to grip the blonde's waist, tempted to pull her tighter, the brunette flexed her fingers with her internal debate and then gently started to push away on the blonde as she spoke.

_From hurting you and it's hurting me_

Spencer didn't budge when she felt Ashley's resistance. She gripped the back of the couch with both hands and stared hard at the brunette. "The only thing hurting either of us right now is you trying to be some damn martyr and pretending like you don't love me anymore."

Ashley released the blonde in frustration and laid her head back on the couch cushions, staring up at the ceiling. She didn't know what more she could do; she had spent so long believing that staying away from the blonde had been the right thing that she didn't know how to deal with having her lover back in her life. Brown met blue and she voiced her fears again as her emotions took hold and tears flowed freely.

_I don't have wings so flying with me won't be easy  
Cause I'm not an angel, I'm not an angel  
_

Spencer smiled, as her hands found Ashley's face again, her thumbs catching the slow stream of tears. "I love you."

The rock star's eyes avoided Spencer's again_._ She had no idea how her life had gotten to the point where she could ever hurt someone as amazing as the woman in her arms. She let her thoughts slip from her lips.

_I wasn't always this way_

Spencer tilted her head uncertain where those words had come from and what they meant.

_I used to be the one with the halo_

Spencer smiled now and pressed her lips to Ashley's forehead in an attempt to calm the rock star's train of thought. She didn't want the brunette to worry about the past.

Ashley basked in that simple action, but she needed more, her ability to resist the woman in her lap was gone, she needed to be wrapped up in her lover. Her eyes traveled every inch of exposed skin and she let herself feel everything she had tried to bury. She was in love with Spencer, she needed her and she would be faithful to her. Who was she to question the blonde when she had found her way back twice.

Ashley raised her hand to cup Spencer's cheek and her thumb grazed a full bottom lip, she had missed those lips. Her other hand sought out one of the blonde's and she brought it to her lips, kissing each finger tip. This woman was her drug, her vice, the only thing in life she couldn't live without. She knew it the first time they had been together it's what drove her back. And she knew now that this could be it, her final chance to love this woman the way she deserved to be loved, she'd be a fool to let her go.

Without warning Ashley gripped Spencer tight and propelled herself forward causing them both to topple onto the floor. Ashley's lips were immediately on Spencer's neck and she mumbled an explanation.

_But that disappeared when I had my first taste and fell from grace_

Ashley pulled back and shrugged the vest from her shoulders and then urged Spencer to sit up and swiftly pulled the tank over the blonde's head. Seconds later she had unhooked Spencer's bra and pulled it free, as she took in the sight of Spencer's exposed chest and heard the blonde's heavy breathing Ashley was lost, succumbed to her own desire. She leaned forward slowly, her voice low and husky as she whispered against the blonde's lips.

_It left me in this place_

Spencer moaned when Ashley let her full body weight down on the blonde and immediately wrapped her legs around Ashley's waist, pulling her closer trying to satisfy her own needs.

Ashley chuckled against Spencer's neck as she was met with frantic hands trying to remove her own bra.

_Now I'm starting to think maybe you like it_

Spencer stopped her actions and pulled Ashley's face up to her own, she kissed her quickly and then pulled away. "I don't care about your past Ash. I don't care about our past, except the good times, I'll cherish those always. But none of the rest matters, all that matters is you and me right now. I need you to know that I love you and you're it for me."

Ashley didn't respond she could hear all the words she had been saying to Spencer ricochet in her head. About tearing her down, and hurting her, but none of it seemed to matter anymore. Only one thing mattered and if Spencer could accept that then there was hope for them.

_I'm not an angel_

She looked at Spencer searching deep into blue depths and all she found was understanding and love, that was the final straw, the last brick in her wall had fallen away. She lowered her head and met Spencer's lips briefly before pulling back. "I love you too."

Ashley yelped in surprise as she suddenly found herself on her back. One of Spencer's hands pushed up under her bra and the other pulled frantically at the rock stars zipper. The brunette squirmed and pushed harder into the hand that was torturing her over sensitized breast. She thought she might combust just from that simple action but when questing fingers squirmed their way into her tight jeans a string of profanities fell from her lips.

The rock star latched onto the blonde's wrist and quickly stilled it; she locked lust filled eyes with her lover and searched for the words to explain what she was feeling. Tripping over her tongue a little she managed to put a few random words together. "I…you…I haven't…it's a…won't take much."

Spencer twitched her fingers and an evil grin spread across her face when Ashley's hips jerked and a growl escaped through the brunette's clenched teeth. "How long?"

Ashley knew what Spencer was asking and a part of her didn't want to answer, she felt stupid, it had only been 6 months, yet her body was responding like it had been depraved for years. She turned her face away embarrassed.

Spencer shifted her position, removing herself from the brunette she braced herself on both hands and searched Ashley's profile for answers. As her eyes wandered she took in the bite mark on the brunette's neck and traced a finger over it, "what happened?"

Ashley cringed as she realized what her lover was referencing, could they already be back in the cycle that broke them? Sarcasm was a useful weapon in times like this, "Vampire."

Spencer grabbed Ashley by the jaw and turned her face so she could see the brunette's eyes. "Answer my first question."

Brown eyes stared up into blue and Ashley felt her heart ache, she so desperately needed the blonde to believe her, she could only find one word and it was barely audible when she whispered it, "you."

Blue eyes got wide as Spencer realized what just that one word meant. She whispered her own response, "June?"

Ashley just nodded holding her breath waiting on the blonde's response, searching her eyes for any doubt. She watched her lovers face as first shock, then wonder, and finally mischief played in her eyes.

Spencer let her thigh slip between Ashley's and she purposely applied pressure, then rocked forward as she leaned down towards the brunette's ear. She smiled guiltily when the rock star arched and moaned beneath her. The blonde's voice dropped to a husky whisper and she breathed into Ashley's ear, "As soon as I can find some handcuffs and a can of whip cream I'm going to reward you…"

Before Spencer could finish her teasing, Ashley's eyes snapped open and she was suddenly very alert from her previous haze of arousal. In one swift motion she rolled the two of them over and got to her feet.

Spencer stared up at the brunette's back as she raced across the room to a large suitcase on the floor. Laughing the blonde pushed herself up on her elbows and watched the brunette quickly fish something out and then hide it behind her back. "If you have handcuffs in your suitcase I'm…"

When the brunette turned and started to slowly return to the blonde the laughter died in her throat. She didn't see any playfulness in her lover's eyes. Spencer's breath caught in her throat and she knew the moment had turned suddenly serious.

Quietly the brunette kneeled beside the blonde pulling her into a sitting position the rock star took Spencer's left hand and kissed her knuckles. "You make me the happiest I have ever been, happier than I deserve to be, you have given me more love than I thought possible in one lifetime, and I don't know how I got so lucky…" Ashley took a deep breath and swallowed back the tears threatening to fall, "please, do me the honor and be willing…to call me your wife." With a shaky hand the rock star held up the engagement ring that Spencer had discarded two years ago.

Blue eyes brimmed over with tears and Spencer blinked and swiped at them, she wanted to say so many things, wished she could find the words to express everything she was feeling, but nothing seemed to come together. Giving up on words Spencer tackled Ashley to the floor, "Yes." Kiss. "Yes." Kiss, "Yes!!" She finally screamed at the top of her lungs.

Ashley laughed as she slid the ring on and then kissed it. Looking into her fiancé's eyes she knew that this time was forever.


	8. Encore

**A/N: So this was the great debate, end the story with the last chapter or end it with this one. I guess I'll let the readers decide. **

**I hope you enjoyed reading up to this point. I know that I enjoyed combining my two favorite obsessions, Spashley and Halestorm, and I suspect that you have enjoyed the journey or else you wouldn't still be reading. This is officially the end and I hope that it was worth the wait!**

**

* * *

**

**Encore  
**

One year after Spencer and Ashley reunite, Spencer was jealous.

The blonde tried not to grind her teeth or pull apart the chair she was sitting in. It had been nearly one year to the day that she and Ashley got back together. And even though the rock star had tried to warn her it was still hard for her to see.

Spencer heard the words as if they were being said to her all over again, but this time they were set to the music that made them a number one hit. Ashley was singing about not being an angel, her first taste, and falling from grace. All the while she flirted and smiled seductively at the girl dancing beside her.

As the chorus rang in Spencer's ears she watched a little red head wrap herself around her lover. The smaller girl brushed the brunette's curls aside and her lips danced up the rock stars neck. Blue eyes hardened when she realized that one of the red heads hands had found purchase in one of her lovers back pockets.

Ashley's fingers left her guitar and trailed seductively over the woman who moved in front of her, Spencer took a deep breath and looked away. She couldn't watch anymore.

As the song came to an end the blonde spared a glance back at her wife and saw Ashley's cocky grin. The blonde knew she was busted, she had sworn to Ashley that she wouldn't get jealous by the performance. The rock star had even tried to get her to watch the rehearsal so she could make changes if she wanted, but the blonde had held fast over the past year that she was not going to interfere with Ashley's career. So instead she watched it live tonight with a million other viewers and by their applause it was a good performance but she was still a little heated.

Even though the blonde trusted the little red headed dancer who she considered a good friend, she felt an overwhelming desire to tell Rhonda to keep her hands a little farther from her wife's assets next time. Judging by the look on Ashley's face, the rock star knew exactly what the blonde was thinking and Spencer looked away again. She knew she was being childish and had nothing to worry about. Ashley had been practically a saint when it over the past year when it came to her fierce loyalty to her wife. The blonde blew out a breath and tried to squash the little green monster inside.

As the house lights went off and then came back on, Spencer was too nervous to listen to the MC announce the Album of the Year Nominees. Ashley had already won for Best Song. 'I'm not an Angel' had been her first straight to number one single and already grabbed a Grammy, but Ashley's album had been nominated for the top award of the night and the blonde was so nervous she thought she'd be sick.

She jumped slightly when calloused fingers threaded threw hears, the blonde turned to see Ashley with an evil grin on her face. "Rhonda says she's skipping the after party until you cool off, something about laser's and holes in her back making her uncomfortable."

Spencer chuckled and was about to say something when Ashley's name was announced as a nominee. Spencer watched as Ashley turned and quickly winked into the camera and then turned back to her wife.

The brunette leaned in to her wife and whispered into her ear, "You seem a little flustered…guess that means you're ready to…do my dirty work."

Spencer swallowed as she looked around to make sure no one had heard. Even though it wasn't an obvious sexual statement, there was enough innuendo in the rock stars tone to make her meaning clear to anyone who over heard. Meeting Ashley's gaze she was about to speak when she vaguely registered her wife's name being called again. Within seconds they were both doused in spotlights and three camera men were converging on them.

Ashley looked stunned and speechless as she looked around her to see the standing ovation. Both women sat for a moment just staring at each other until finally realization dawned on Spencer and she pulled Ashley to her feet and nudged her toward the stairs. As the rock star approached the microphone a million thoughts swam through her mind. The usually confident cocky rocker was at a loss for words.

Standing in that spotlight all she could do was stare at her wife. She had no idea how she got this lucky, without realizing she had done it she whispered into the mic, "how did I get so lucky…" The sudden round of applause snapped her out of her trance and she looked out over the sea of people and suddenly found the clarity she needed to speak.

"First I have to thank my beautiful wife for all her love and support over the years, as you may know many of my songs have been written for or about her." Ashley paused for some applause and whistles and watched the camera's zoom to capture Spencer's reaction. "Secondly I have to thank the fans, not only have you made my musical dreams come true but you have also made some of my personal dreams some true."

Ashley turned and looked playfully into the camera, she knew if she looked at Spencer she would get tongue tied again. "You see I made a bet tonight with my wife. That if I didn't win this award I would get to spend the rest of the night with her doing all of my favorite..._things_." She paused to emphasize her air quotes and laughed and at the whistles and shouts this got from the crowd. "But if I did win this award she agreed to live up to a statement she made years ago," Ashley paused and collected herself before turning to Spencer, "three years ago you told me that when I became a multi-Grammy award winning artist…" Ashley's voice caught in her throat and tears gleamed in her eyes, Spencer smiled through her own tears and the brunette continued, "…you would have my baby."

Ashley could feel the air suck out of the room as everyone held their breath. Every camera in the place focused in on the blonde and caught the tears shining in her eyes. People literally stood on their chairs trying to get a better view. As the brunette watched she saw the faintest of nods and the crowd went crazy with applause and shouts.

"I love you!" Ashley shouted into the mic, "I love everyone, thank you!" Then she broke all protocol and jumped off the stage and raced into Spencer's arms. The brunette's hands found her wife's neck and her thumbs traced her jaw bone. "Really?"

Spencer let the tears stream as she nodded and lightly kissed her wife before pulling back to whisper, "Yes." The blonde was overwhelmed by the joy she felt in the arms of her lover, the journey she was on with Ashley just kept getting better and she said exactly what she was feeling, "Let's make a baby."

Ashley's mouth dropped open and she waited for the moment to register with her wife. Within seconds she saw the color flood to the blonde's cheeks and then her wife's face was buried in her neck and the brunette couldn't control the laugh that bubbled to the surface. She was so glad she decided to TiVo tonight's show, if the cameras picked up what the blonde said she was going to play it for the baby some day and maybe even her grandkids. The rock star smirked as she kissed the top of her wife's head and then turned to give a sassy wink into the closest camera. Squeezing the blonde as close as she possibly could Ashley leaned down and whispered into Spencer's ear, "I love you...more now than ever before. I agree, lets go home."


End file.
